Spring Suspicions


Spring is the season I am slowest to accept. I do want to trade my weather in for sunnier days, but I’m suspicious of the whole thing.

The minute I peel off those winter layers, I just know the weather is going to shift and I am going to be caught out in the cold, far from home. By far from home, I mean the parking lot at the grocery store. Just to be clear, we’re not talking Siberia — but still. That could be a very unpleasant walk to my car.

Perhaps I just don’t want to get my hopes up. We had one blissful weekend where we sat outside on the deck wearing shorts and flip-flops. I tried to position myself so that I would not blind any of the neighbors with my pale, ghost legs. I drank a lemonade. I wanted to cry from happiness.


However, it’s best to pretend that was a freak incident and will not happen again. It’s too crushing to put the sweaters back on when you have had a taste of something else.

My friends and family in Southern California make sad, consoling noises on the phone when I talk to them about the weather. (You can tell we don’t have family in Chicago or Minnesota or someplace that might put our temperature-related problems in perspective.) The thing I am now realizing is that I have always been this moody about the weather. It’s just that in LA, you are highly trained to appreciate the shifts even a few degrees could make. There is a delicate balance to be maintained. Do I wear the t-shirt or the tank top? IT CHANGES EVERYTHING.


I try to be upbeat about Spring.

My neighbors and friends up here are so positive. I don’t want to ruin it for them. And they have reason to be. It’s ridiculously beautiful. I just need a few more weeks to be convinced. I was thankful I went the conservative route and wore black boots and a warm jacket to church for Easter Sunday, feeling very relieved I had not purchased a pastel sundress in a fit of optimism.


I think this may sum up my life right now. I am convinced that good things are on the horizon. I know they are. However, I am not rushing either. It is one step at a time. I want both eyes open, prepared for anything. When it’s time to embrace that sunshine, I plan to do it with abandon.

{All images are taken by me for my tumblr blog.}

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