Glitter Negotations

My husband is a severe glitter-phobic.  I respect where he is coming from with that.  It does seem that if there is a spec of glitter in the house (and oh – there are specs) it does end up stuck to his face or one of his things.  And me with the insane holiday decorations and sparkles… well, it’s a lot for him to put up with…

Last week I tried really hard to get him excited about the new Martha Stewart glitter painting projects that have been popping up around the web (like here and here).  You can just imagine how well THAT went.

ME:  I need to show you something, and you are probably not going to like it.

HIM: OK.

ME:  You might feel really upset looking at it, but I want you to keep an open mind.

(I flip through Martha Stewart Living November issue to the GLITTER PAINTING page.)

HIM:  It’s in Martha?  Oh, this is good.

ME:  Do you see this picture?  (showing him photo of glitter dog) You can make one of these by uploading a photo – it doesn’t have to be of a dog, like this one – and then you just paint the different sections with glue and put the glitter on.

HIM:  Ok, you are telling me this for one of two reasons.  (pause)  Number 1: You want to make a glitter picture of me.

ME:  I am not going to make a glitter picture of you.

HIM:  Why not?

ME:  Because I’m pretty sure it would look weird.

HIM:  Ok, then what are you going to do?  (stern look)

ME:  I want to make a glitter picture for the kitchen.

HIM:  (without missing a beat) You are going to need one of those hats that has a built-in fan pointing at you.

ME:  (blank stare, wondering how a fan would help me with a glitter project)

HIM:  Because it’s going to get hot in the garage while you’re working on that.

Oh, how I love our grumpy little exchanges.

We have decided that I AM allowed to make a glitter picture, although we are still in negotiations as to where I can work on it.  (We have a shared garage below our apartment complex so the thought of me glitter painting down there is pretty comical.)  He has decided that we have to wait until the picture is finished before we can agree to put it in the kitchen.  Fair enough.

I immediately located a Michael’s coupon!  I need a drop cloth and a “clean room” or some other way to contain the glitter chaos.  I can barely contain myself!!!  Anyone tried one of these yet?  I vow to report back — for better or for worse.